A good few years I went to see this reasonably unknown band Muse in Wolverhampton, their support ace was a group I’d heard of once called Coldplay – The front man, a gangly, shaved headed sixth form look-alike Chris Martin.
They were OK.
Since then they’ve exploded into some ultra band. Chris Martin married a movie star, who gave birth to piece of fruit and he tried to save the world, when that failed – he went home to his lush LA house.
My highlight of coldplay hating came in 2002 when the headline act at the V festival was (again) Muse, or Texas (yawn). We went for Muse. Waiting around in the soggy field that made me think I was in a WW1 trench, someone appeared on stage and a few thousand people started to cheer – Muse were about to start. Only they wern’t.
For it was Chris Martin, he of Coldplay, Husband to Gwenny and Father to Apple, Savoiour of the world and it’s music.
Instantly the thousands of ‘YEAAAAAAAAHHHSSS’ turned into ‘BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS’ – it was ace.
He walked to the microphone and proudly said “Hi, I’m Chris Martin from the band Coldplay”, at which point some bloke in the crowd shouted “fuck off you miserable c*nt” – Thousands laughed. Muse came on, we rocked, we fell over, the band finished, Sinatra came on the PA, we all walked back. Tops.
So okay, I hate them, but mainly I hate him – he’s a self righteous, over played, arse kissed twat. But I’m sure more people love them than hate them. Otherwise how could anyone explain the sell out tours, the album sales in their millions and the constant (over)hyping of yet unreleased material?
So today Chris ‘woe is me’ Martin told Radio 1:
“I think we’ve been away for so long now and the only public feedback we get is tabloid gossip, which is generally vitriolic. So at this point we feel so unpopular and so out of the loop.”
What a load of crap, the tour has sold out in a weekend, someone must love you. He also goes on to say:
“I want some couple on their first date, say Nigel and Bobby, to come and have the best time and then go home and snog and it be the beginning of their romance, because the Coldplay concert was so good.”
Hahaha, “Darling, I’ve got some tickets to Coldplay, perhaps we can sit at the back and cry over the beauty of Chris Martin’s lyrics and the fragile nature of the planet we call earth and it’s inhabitants, then you can touch my winki if you like” Come off it Chris. The only person getting off on your music is you.
Virign Radio are doing their best to tell Coldplay they love them. As I type this the Presenter is kissing their arse as we speak, ‘oh yes Gwyneth listens to the station, tell your man we do love them’, in some vain hope of getting her on the phone. Now he’s really pissed me off by playing Keane.
Ahhhh Keane, You’re next!
I was that man in the crowd, i was right then and and still right now!
Dont pick on keane yet though please, i beg you!
i genuinely belive they have tallent, even if you dont.
Still, rest asured when the lead singer has a child with a crappy blubbering actress, ill be the first to stick the boot in after you drop em on their sorry ass!
AMEN
shaddap, keane are shit.
YOU SHADAP! TOILET!
keane are shit. the end
They cant even afford guitars the bloody gypos!
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SHIT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GYPOS RULE
GLORY GRORY GYPISE TYYTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FGC YHFVT8JYG8JYGJU SHIT
GORGES
turnip head and i like toffe
‘/####################### SHIT HEAD
BHHHHHHHKHKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
SHIT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GYPOS RULE
GLORY GRORY GYPISE ]#’TYYTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT FGC YHFVT8JYG8JYGJU SHIT
GORGES
turnip head and i like toffe
‘/####################### SHIT HEAD
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daffy duc
FUCK COLDPLAY, THE BLOODY CUNTS
CHRIS MARTIN WILL BURN IN HELL
man, you are gay.
Shut up.
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I’m really sorry, but I’ve never seen you on stage with the same calibre as these two bands, Keane and Coldplay. They have a lot of talent, write their own songs (unlike so many bands out there today), understand music and can really sing and play their instruments; they are both fantastic live. They are my two favourite bands, and I own (not steal) all their songs and albums.
If you don’t like their music, fine, I probably don’t like whatever you listen too, but you cannot argue with their talent and showmanship. Chris Martin and Tom Chaplin are two of the best male vocalists in the charts.
I know that sometimes you don’t have a clue what Chris is on about, or why he gave his daughter such a random name, but hey, look at what all the other music stars are doing, and he’s frankly normal in comparison.
So you may attack his music and songs all you want, the band still produces the best music.
Gwyneth needs to breakup with Martin so he can get back to Coldplay! This sucks, I miss Coldplay!
chris martin tends to reach on rather large dicks
i hate coldplay god awful band
i even own a t-shirt that says “make Coldplay history”
after hearing any Coldplay song i instantly feel down and angry at how someone can write such drivel and be popular it frustrates me and drives me mad, i usually find Ataxias Dust or RHCPs Turn it Again tend to level me out again though JFs solos tend to make me feel better
I LOVE COLDPLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I absolutely hate Coldplay and I cannot understand what everyone sees or hears in this no-talent-at-all fake artist. The MUSIC Sucks and he cannot hold a tune to save his life. I thought I was going to throw up when I found out they are coming out with another CD, which means they will be jammed down all our throats because for some reason (one of the band members must have a relative at the record lable) the radio just loves to play these guys! THEY SUCK and have no artistic ability what-so-ever!
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Is there a “We hate Colplay” club I can join?
I hate coldplay because they rip off one the most innovative bands in the history of music, Radiohead. How come none of you CP wankers get that ‘the scientist’ is a direct rip off of RH’s “high and dry”? Coldplay just copies The Bends and sell more records then RH ever did cause when The Bends came out people werent ready for it.
Come now, how can everybody hate Coldplay so much? I think the 48 versions of the same self-serving whinny-drivel of a song are sooooo entertaining. My radio agrees – can’t get enough of Apple’s Babydaddy.
THANK YOU!
I just listened to their new single “Violet Hill”. All I can say is “WHY?”
“Chris Martin and Tom Chaplin are two of the best male vocalists in the chart” – well I’ll agree Tom Chaplin has a great voice, but Chris Martin?!?! The guy “sings” like an asthmatic Alan Partridge & that innefectual yodelling he does really pisses me off – the sign of a man with bugger all vocal range.
As for their dreary fugues… don’t get me started. Take one phrase. Repeat ad nauseum… ARGH!!!!
fuck you stupid bastard
you are a little beacht…
do you like bands like backstreetboys…..
sucked beacht!!!!!!!!!
you don`t know nothing about music
Colplay are Musical masterbators !
Are you lot fukin crazy?
If Coldplay are soooooo unbearably shit, Why have they sold 35,000,000+ albums? They are amazing, THEY ARE FUKING AMAZING!!! (and thats an understatement). You lot need to get lives instead of trying to wreck someone elses! LOOOZAAAZ! I love them! Also, they are alternative rock, get it right! x
COLDPLAY IS THE MOST DEPRESSING NON-MUSICAL GROUP EVER
Oh my gosh, where have you been all your life? They are like one of the biggest bands on the planet, obviously there would be haters, but hey you can’t impress everybody. And way to mock them about their life, “Yay they got booed at”- well whoopy freaken dooo! And all he wants it to make his fans happy.
write again when you have some plausable reason to hate them and their music.
Coldplay and keane are unbearable. It’s true, face it. The tones and lyrics have always been terrible and chris martin has a weak voice. But this is not the reason for the detrtiment of his band – its purely the boring tones. The same tempo’s the same themes and the same shit pouring from the radio.
P.S – Album sales don’t make it sound better. And grammy nominations are no longer credible. Ask lil wayne.
they got to be a product of corparate radio, i honestly don’t know one person that cares for them! that just shows how weak the musical landscape is today. 20 to 30 years ago this band does’nt even get singed! i guess rock is dead!!!
I’m glad there are others who share my hatred of Coldplay (Overplay). The BBC keep playing Coldplay on TV, Radio, special “press the red button” concerts… it drives me nuts! Just think, the biggest bands in the world 20 years ago were bands like Queen and AC/DC, bands with balls that could dominate an arena, nowadays we are spoon fed crap like Coldplay, Keane and Snow Patrol! Yawn!
You people are just so sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Make your own songs and then say something you fuckers!!!!!!!
Coldplay are just amazing!:)
i am not disputing whether or not coldplay is a good band; i just want to say i hate the people who say something like “after you write some songs and perform on stage then you can criticize them”… the reason being because the people who say that tend not to have ever written a song or performed on stage in their lives. so, if you tell me i can’t think or say a band is no good just because i don’t do what they do, then how can you think or say a band is good if you don’t do what they do either?
i guess all of us will have to write some songs and perform on stage before any of us can truly decide if coldplay is talented or not…
I went to Reading Fest 97 and who was at the bottom of the bill on the Radio 1 stage – Coldplay!
They fuckin bored me to tears of frustration. Such fucking drivel! Their popularity just goes to prove that there are way too many FUCKHEAD IDIOT people in our country/world, kill ‘em all, quick! For FUCK SAKE!
And Keane? Same again, spare me from their impotent wank!
And Muse too. Ok, so they aren’t as offensive to the ears as Coldplay or Keane but I remember I went to see Muse about 11yrs+ ago (a friend dragged me along cos he had a spare ticket and I’d never heard Muse at that point) and who were supporting them? Coldplay!! Sitting on the floor of the Forum (or was it the Shepherds Bush Empire?) thank FUCK I managed to sleep through that gig!
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Coldplay make me feel sick more so with the terrible Kraftwerk ‘borrowing’. Piss-taking phuckers.
you know what, I’m tired of people saying that their talented and that they know a lot about music. That may be true, but they sure as hell dont show it. I have hated Coldplay since I first heard Yellow on the radio. After hearing that they were part of the lawsuit with Joe Satriani I listened to If I Could Fly and Viva La Vida. If Coldplay can write their own music, then why does the song sound EXACTLY the same? I believe its because they thought, “Hey this sounds good lets remake it with slightly a different sound. No one will know, we are Coldplay.” It sickens me that people consider a band thats not worth the shit i took five minutes ago the best band around right now!
And jd89, I’ve written songs and played on stage, I could easily write songs like Coldplay, all i have to do is find a song i like, and then change it just slightly, make it more poppy with stupid meaningless lyrics and I’ll have a song.
Look you have got problems. I don’t see how you can say that about someone how would you like it if I called you a worthless little sh*t? Coldplay is fantastic! I just saw them in concert and they were great! So back off! Nobody wants to here you say that crap, so keep your dirty littl mouth shut!
FILHO DA PUTA!!!! EU AMO CHRIS MARTIN E VOCÊS SÃO IDIOTAS, MERDA!
TRANSLATE: SON OF BIT!!! I LOVE CHRIS MARTIN AND YOU ARE IDIOTS, SHIT!
Coldplay are legendary so are Muse so are Radiohead full stop please
I hate Coldplay haters. Do they have nothing better to do than moan? I feel like they have to emit their opinion everywhere because not many people agree with them. What antagonistic losers. Have you heard some of the music which is in the charts nowadays? But all you can find to do is target Coldplay? That’s pretty lame. Coldplay is the best band of their generation. So if you don’t understand the meaning behind the beautiful lyrics because you’ve probably always lived such a perfect easy life, hush. When something bad happens, Coldplay is like a cure. You have no reasonable arguments, whereas I’m sticking up for my best band.
Coldplay is the best, and will always be. You’re right. There are more people who loves Coldplay than hating them. Coldplay makes the best music. Gwyneth did not give birth to a piece of fruit. She gave birth to a little girl, named Apple, which is a beutiful name.
Agree with you Connor and Honest. I hate Coldplay-haters, and i think that Coldplay is legendary.