Merk loves Laura Tobin

Most of my on-line ‘social’ time these days is spent on Facebook – i find it a good way to keep in touch with old friends, organise events (mainly piss ups!) and share photos of said piss ups! I don’t have a million applications installed and don’t particularly like being poked or poking back. What I do like is the status updates (something Myspace have jazzed up in order to keep hold of it’s users),

I’m finding it rather amusing to read back through them – one thing I’ve noticed is that I do seem to get drunk quite a lot! Here is the 2 months worth of status updates to illustrate my pointl (most recent first)

• Merk lives on fascination.
• Merk has a dirty hangover.
• Merk blah.
• Merk loves si, and his aids.
• Merk quite likes boys. Especially boys birthdays cards. Don Simon is king.
• Merk might wear a stripey shirt out, what a surprise.
• Merk hello.
• Merk watching downloaded U.S. tv – naughty me!
• Merk thanks you all for your birthday wishes, ta.
• Merk is having his tea.
• Merk cannot wait to go home.
• Merk thinks Bevo is a spoon – enjoy A&E matey!
• Merk wished he’d booked the day off.
• Merk is eating doughnuts for breakfast.
• Merk is addicted to Coca-Cola.
• Merk hates people with ideas above their station.
• Merk is enjoying his last few days in his ‘mid-twenties’.
• Merk looking forward to going to the seaside.
• Merk is going out.
• Merk is complex.
• Merk thinks not drinking makes him ill.
• Merk feels a bit better.
• Merk feels poorly.
• Merk is .
• Merk is indulging in one of his guilty pleasures…..no, not that!
• Merk is chilled.
• Merk is laughing at someone.
  10:48am
  April 15
• Merk is tired, Doesn’t like waking up early.
  10:12pm
• Merk is sick of the rain.
• Merk is writing lists.
• Merk is booooooored.
• Merk got to work on time, for the first time in about 6 months!
• Merk is bored.
• Merk wants some goldfish.
• Merk fucking loves Capri-Sun.
• Merk blah.
• Merk just heard a tune that instantly took him back to happy happy times as a kid, I’m going to sleep smiling now! .
• Merk wants to go on a road trip somewhere.
• Merk is mmmmm.
• Merk is cooking.
• Merk STILL doesn’t like rude people.
• Merk doesn’t like rude people.
• Merk is ill.
• Merk is a little bit drunk.
• Merk has no style.
• Merk loves Laura Tobin.
• Merk is mellow.
• Merk is contemplating getting a little bit drunkified….for a change.
• Merk is wondering what to spend his winnings on!
• Merk at home, on a friday night?
• Merk needs some sleep.
• Merk Likes sleeep.
• Merk is pathetic.
• Merk wants to be a muskerhound.
• Merk is fed up of birds shitting on his car.
• Merk is going home.
• Merk is eating Jaffa Cakes – hehehehe.
• Merk hello.
• Merk hates City types.
• Merk Is on a choo choo train.
• Merk house alarm code is 4593.
• Merk ‘s bank Pin is 2316.
• Merk has had a great night reminiscing.
• Merk is going for a pint.
• Merk is READING (a book).
• Merk want’s his hour back.
• Merk cant believe the weekend is over already.
• Merk is booooo.
• Merk is praying Everton can get a win today.
• Merk is sleeping.
• Merk is in a strange sense of mind – not quite drunk but not quite hammered. hmmmm.
• Merk is off out for food, drinks and much merriment.
• Merk baby soft skin, make of that what you will.
• Merk is all about the weekend baby!
• Merk is laughing.
• Merk hates people with disco knee.
• Merk has a little bit of an export head.
• Merk is disappointed.
• Merk wants the summer to hurry up.
• Merk hates jo whiley.
• Merk doesn’t understand why people have ‘baby on board’ signs in their car – If I can help it I’m not going to run in the back of you baby on board or not!
• Merk hates people who walk around the supermarket wearing bluetooth headsets!
• Merk just read the gas meter….could life get any more exciting than that?
• Merk wonders why people think going on national telly to deal with family issues is a good idea?
• Merk thinks this weekends excessive boozing has hit his immune system….cough splutter cough.
• Merk is so glad to be back at work, honest.
• Merk is impressed with the new Elbow album.
• Merk is bored.
• Merk is happy after a great Easter weekend.
• Merk doesn’t know whether to go out or not.
• Merk is yawning.
• Merk bybufytftrrfersws5fg8iumoij.
• Merk is looking forward to beers tonight.
• Merk is hello.
• Merk is broken.
• Merk is tired.
• Merk is thnking about lunch at the beacon or go shopping for food?
• Merk is confused he has no hangover.
• Merk was nearly called George.
• Merk thinks Heather Mills is a money grabbing bitch.
• Merk isn’t too cool for school.
• Merk wants to go to a Murder Mystery and a Medieval Banquet.
• Merk is angry with a certain customer.
• Merk hates horses.
• Merk wants to go to a Murder Mystery and a Medieval Banquet.
• Merk Merk Merk Merk Merk Merk Merk Merk Merk Merk Merk Merk.
• Merk likes Dr Pepper.
• Merk is writing an angry letter to the council.
• Merk is alreet, thanks for asking.
• Merk is looking forward to his sleep.
• Merk is so fucking tired.
• Merk has gone all open source.
• Merk is going to kick the shit out of his computer very soon.
• Merk blah.
• Merk hasn’t driven his car for days.
• Merk is happy and honoured.
• Merk is listening to classic Stevie Wonder.
• Merk is happy.
• Merk is worrying that he drinks too much.
• Merk is lost.
• Merk likes beers with friends.
• Merk is going out….again.
• Merk says Hi. ‘Hi’.
• Merk loves something…
• Merk loves something….probably.
• Merk doesn’t like socks.
• Merk is bored…of life.
• Merk is a bit miserable.
• Merk had an ace thai curry.
• Merk pissed off the day is going so slow.
• Merk is grrr.
• Merk made his computer go bang.
• Merk cooked an ace salad.
• Merk pricing up new motherboard, cpu and ram – whoops!
• Merk has just killed his pc.
• Merk is tired.
• Merk is going home.
  5:28pm
• Merk is bored.
• Merk can’t believe he got mocked for buying shoes from Clarks.
• Merk is laughing at his works silly rules.
• Merk cant sleep.
• Merk is sleepy.
• Merk is never drinking Brandy again.
• Merk feels wrong.
• Merk hurts.
• Merk loves rave piano.
• Merk is having a chilled/geekery afternoon.
• Merk has bought shoes – ten minutes. I love living in town!
• Merk has gone to buy shoes!
• Merk needs some new shoes.
• Merk is beer’s constant if anything goes wrong!
• Merk doesn’t know what chasing pavements means.
• Merk wants a Mercedes CLK Coupé but doesn’t appear to have 30 grand to spare.
• Merk is.
• Merk wonders what the fuck the BBC have done to their homepage.
• Merk is laughing now he’s knows it was just an earthquake!
• Merk is laughing know he’s knows it was just an earthquake!
• Merk is merk, merkio, merkster, bigdaddymerk or plain old Mart.

Update: In more geekery related news Google indexed this post for Laura Tobin in about 3 minutes – that’s freaked my chicken.

Update II: Hmmm it’s climbed the index already – now fifth in the list!

Update III: Laura Tobin is a Weather Presenter on News 24!