No no no no no no no no no no. No. The BBC have been all over this more than a fucking Doctor Who series finale. Well done for cycling faster than someone else, well done for yachting in a straight line or whatever they do, well done for swimming without choking on a veruca plaster. But a four-year countdown is overkill by anyone’s standards. When those wacky scientists start crashing their neutrons and atoms into each other there may not even be a “four years time”.
Next up though, will be the iminent clamour for MBEs and knighthoods, like old women grappling for bargains in the half-price basket at Ethel Austins. Expect a Sun campaign (or an Express crusade!) soon. I’m reminded of Geoffrey Boycott, which isn’t always pleasant, and what he said to cricketer Paul Collingwood (who played just one test of the victorious and subsequent band-wagon jumped to within a bail’s thinckness of it’s life Ashes of 2001).
“You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at the Oval?”. The cuddly Yorkshireman continued, “People like me played 100 Test matches to get one, and [scored] 8,000 [runs]. I didn’t play five Test matches and get one. I feel so bad about mine I’m going to tie it round my cat. It doesn’t mean anything anymore. It’s a joke.” Now why couldn’t they have chosen Boycott, and his cat, come out of that double decker in Beijing?
Nope, love it, they can keep banging on about it till the cows come home. We beat the Ozzies, thats always worth banging on about for the next four years.
Might make a few overpaid sportsmen and women pull their socks up.
instead of the javelin or shot put, they should be trying to throw a brick through a window.
bmx was a new one this time, nearly but not quite. they should be pushing a kid off a bmx, nicking their trainers, then riding off with their bmx.
sailing should be floating around in a blow up dinghi off blackpool beach (although you have to blow your dinghi up first then dodge the floaters)
the show piece event of the games would not be the 100 metres either. it would be the “neck 20 pints of stella then see how far you can hurl an item of plastic garden furniture whilst dodging a water cannon”
For the London games they should instill the unique atmosphere and events that make up school sports days and village summer fête games up and down this isle. How fast would Usain Bolt be with with his feet in a sack? See how the USA sprinters couldn’t even hold a baton in the relay, how would they going to cope holding a spoon with an egg balancing in it? I’ll be looking forward to the 200m wheel-barrow race, rolling giant discs of cheese down a hill, the 4x400m relay three-legged race and that weird Cumbrian game where they kick each other’s shins raw. Let’s make 2012 a truly British games!
I don’t think all the tortured Chinese people can take it either…
No no no no no no no no no no. No. The BBC have been all over this more than a fucking Doctor Who series finale. Well done for cycling faster than someone else, well done for yachting in a straight line or whatever they do, well done for swimming without choking on a veruca plaster. But a four-year countdown is overkill by anyone’s standards. When those wacky scientists start crashing their neutrons and atoms into each other there may not even be a “four years time”.
Next up though, will be the iminent clamour for MBEs and knighthoods, like old women grappling for bargains in the half-price basket at Ethel Austins. Expect a Sun campaign (or an Express crusade!) soon. I’m reminded of Geoffrey Boycott, which isn’t always pleasant, and what he said to cricketer Paul Collingwood (who played just one test of the victorious and subsequent band-wagon jumped to within a bail’s thinckness of it’s life Ashes of 2001).
“You got an MBE, right? For scoring seven at the Oval?”. The cuddly Yorkshireman continued, “People like me played 100 Test matches to get one, and [scored] 8,000 [runs]. I didn’t play five Test matches and get one. I feel so bad about mine I’m going to tie it round my cat. It doesn’t mean anything anymore. It’s a joke.” Now why couldn’t they have chosen Boycott, and his cat, come out of that double decker in Beijing?
Nope, love it, they can keep banging on about it till the cows come home. We beat the Ozzies, thats always worth banging on about for the next four years.
Might make a few overpaid sportsmen and women pull their socks up.
i propose the olympics should be more relevant.
instead of the javelin or shot put, they should be trying to throw a brick through a window.
bmx was a new one this time, nearly but not quite. they should be pushing a kid off a bmx, nicking their trainers, then riding off with their bmx.
sailing should be floating around in a blow up dinghi off blackpool beach (although you have to blow your dinghi up first then dodge the floaters)
the show piece event of the games would not be the 100 metres either. it would be the “neck 20 pints of stella then see how far you can hurl an item of plastic garden furniture whilst dodging a water cannon”
then, and only then, might we top the medal table
For the London games they should instill the unique atmosphere and events that make up school sports days and village summer fête games up and down this isle. How fast would Usain Bolt be with with his feet in a sack? See how the USA sprinters couldn’t even hold a baton in the relay, how would they going to cope holding a spoon with an egg balancing in it? I’ll be looking forward to the 200m wheel-barrow race, rolling giant discs of cheese down a hill, the 4x400m relay three-legged race and that weird Cumbrian game where they kick each other’s shins raw. Let’s make 2012 a truly British games!
I am way up for the Stav Olympics. And to add to his list of sports, I would add Tug of War, welly wanging and Shove Ha’penny. Maybe Darts as well?